August 21, 2008 4:59 AM
A.M./P.M.: A Head in the Smog
I am 6'5''. I am uncoordinated. I am gangly. I have the wingspan of
someone who is 6'9''. I don't fit into clothes or cars or beds. My
mother occasionally lends me to friends to dust hard-to-reach places.In America, I'm tall. In China, I've become oversized.
The stereotype is true: the Chinese are short. Everything's built for people seemingly half my size. On the subway, I only kind-of fit. I sleep diagonally in my bed. I walk into low hanging objects all the time.
I find it strange that everything's been scaled down to their size. Even clothes fit differently here. In the States, I wear a size large. Here, I wear a 2XL or a 3XL, and sometimes, even those sizes aren't large enough. Forget about finding a pair of size 13 shoes.
To me, the Chinese are tiny. But for most Americans, they're just a bit shorter than average.
The average 17 year old male in this country stands 5'7''. The average 17 year old female is 5'1''.
So they're short, but they're not that short.
Still, I get my fair share of awkward stares. Everyone wants to take photos with me; that woman in the photo above is standing on a ledge that's some 20 inches high, and she's still barely my height.
Many want to know if I play basketball. By now, I've started saying yes, and telling them that I play for a Canadian team. Sometimes, I'm the star center for the Quebec Nordiques or the Winnipeg Jets. This seems to please them enormously.
But there is one question that I'm asked frequently in the States that I've yet to get in Beijing. No one, it seems, wants to know how the weather is up here. I suppose they can figure that out for themselves.
It's 7 p.m. in Beijing, and 5 a.m. in Denver. Here are the stories that are making Olympic headlines on this Thursday evening/morning:
>Victor Conte on Caribbean sprinters and doping. Well worth the read.
>Dave Chappelle was at the Holland House on Tuesday night. I can't imagine what aspect of the Netherlands' culture Mr. Chappelle might be drawn to.
>Your could-be-an-Onion-headline-of-the-day: " Everybody a hero at Beijing Olympics!"
>Chinese newspapers declare China the winner of the Beijing Olympics.
>Breakdancing Fuwas.
August 21, 2008
10:27 AM
Flip Washington writes:
With great height comes great responsibility . . . and lots of Chinese tail apparently. I think you should shave that mop and tell the masses that you're Phelps . . . or Phelps' so-far-unheard-of brother.