August 8, 2008 4:59 AM
A.M./P.M.: The Olympics Are Dead
In one hour and eight minutes, the 29th Olympiad will begin. Athletes will wave flags. Anthems will play. Cameras will flash. Billions will watch.I'm just here to tell you that the Olympics are already dead.
Oh, sure, if you're Chinese, then these Olympics are very much a big deal. The Chinese alone have invested $40 billion in building stadiums and cleaning up their country for foreigners. They've built thousands of new hotel rooms and kicked out thousands of migrants around the city. The Chinese who haven't fled Beijing are thrilled to be here, thrilled to be a part of these Olympic Games.
Here's the problem, though: nobody else around the world really cares.
Maybe they lost people seven years ago, when China was selected for these Games. Maybe they lost people when China took reporters on a bogus tour of Tibet, only to have the entire thing blow up in Beijing's face. Maybe they lost people at the smog, or the censorship, or the growing police state that is downtown Beijing.
Or maybe it's simpler. Maybe it's because there's only one group of foreigners left to whom the Games still matter: the advertisers.
Remember 2008 as the Games That Sold Out, the Games that sold out to Big Cola and, seeing as the price was right, Big Dairy. It's no surprise that China's fastest rising star, Liu Xiang, once endorsed Big Tobacco.
What kind of Games are these? They're the kind of Games where the IOC sees itself suddenly in the World's Biggest market and says, maybe it's not such a bad idea to sign three different beer sponsors. They're the kind of Games that need more levels of patronage than a Republican fundraiser. You've got your Worldwide Olympic Partners, your Beijing 2008 Partners, your Sponsors, your Exclusive Suppliers and your Suppliers. The difference? Aside from font size, I can't tell.
So open up the Games, China, and get ready for your Kodak moment. And know that when it happens, you'll even be able to call it that. Kodak's a Worldwide Olympic Partner.
It's 7 p.m. in Beijing, and 5 a.m. in Denver. Here are the stories that are making Olympic headlines on this Friday evening/morning:
>Your could-be-an-Onion-headline-of-the-day: "Expert: Overcast skies for Olympics opening ceremony." Overcast? Whatever you say.
>One amazing thing about these Games: by any normal standards, the freedom of the press here in Beijing is remarkably limited. But the irony is, all the China-based reporters can talk about is how open things are.
>The Vegas odds for the Olympics are out.
>Despite playing the last 50+ minutes up a man, China still needs a last minute header to tie New Zealand, the 110th ranked team in the world (between Malawi and Thailand).
>This Messi goal against the Ivory Coast was an absolute beauty:
>Video of the changing of the guard in Tiananmen Square.
>Meet the pair who will be singing the Olympic theme song: China's Liu Huan (seen here singing "One World, One Dream") and Brit Sarah Brightman (seen here singing "Dust in the Wind").
>The Olympic Village has 100,000 condoms available for athletes in the Olympic Village. When asked if Olympians should be allowed to have sex during the Games, 16 percent of Chinese said, "Not a big deal, just repress a little and it will pass." Isn't that the same strategy they're using to diffuse the international media?
[The photo at top of Coke with the People's Liberation Army is from a Beijing art vendor's shop.]
August 8, 2008
10:16 AM
Skinny Dipper writes:
Call me homo-erotic, but I lost interest in the Olympics when I found out that swimmers would be wearing Taliban-style Speedo LZR full body swimsuits.
The Olympics are just a venue for companies to sell products to Chinese citizens. The athletics are just a sideshow.
I don't know what the opening ceremonies were like. I'm boycotting the games.
August 8, 2008
10:48 AM
riona writes:
so why don't you come to beijing to see what's really happening here? dare you???
February 23, 2010
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