August 4, 2008 1:36 PM
My! You speak like Brutus.
I've gotten my hands on a copy of the "Beijing Olympic Games
Training Series: A Conversational English Reader." BOCOG -- the Beijing
Olympic governing body -- is using it as a manual to teach volunteers
how to react to any situation that might arise during the Games. Some
of those situations just happen to be a bit unusual. Today's text is reproduced in its entirety and is not edited. All non-sequiturs and grammatical errors are theirs. The text is titled "At the counter of a bar" from the "At Shichahai Bar Street" section of the reader. Again: this really is a guide for how Beijingers are supposed to deal with Westerners in this particular situation. Enjoy:
Bar owner: Welcome to my bar, sir! I like the color of your cap. It seems you are also a true Argentina fan.
Foreign visitor: Okay, you got it. I love Argentina and I love the heroes of the Pampas! A dry Martini, please. Are you guys going to watch the rebroadcast?
Bar owner: No doubt about it. Those fellows are here just for it. You failed to get a ticket for that match, right?
Foreign visitor: Yes. Very unfortunately, and I did not even have a chance to watch the whole game over television that night because of something urgent, and it took me the whole night, God! That's why I drop in for the TV rebroadcast.
Bar owner: Well, that happens. Argentina is my favorite team, too. A lot of people around me like Argentine football.
Foreign visitor: Oh, really? I am pleased to hear it, but don't you like European football?
Bar owner: Not that I love European football less, but that I love South American football more.
Foreign visitor: My! You speak like Brutus. Could you tell me why you prefer Argentine football?
Bar owner: I used to be a physical education major when I went to college. As a guy from my dorm loved Maradona and Batistuta very much and he kept talking about them, I learned to be their fan like him. Just that simple. I can't imagine how Maradona controlled the ball so excellently. And Batistuta, his strength and persistence. Wow! Marvelous!
Foreign visitor: You know what? Once Maradona was regarded as one of Argentina's three national treasures. And the other two are the sun and the sea.
Bar owner: Incredible! That's what I heard of. By the way, what do you think of the performance of Jurio in these Olympic Games?
Foreign visitor: Jurio? You've seen his performances in Barcelona, right? He is a hero to me however he performs.
Bar owner: I cannot agree more. He really is a gifted player, but your opponent today is by no means just a piece of cake.
Foreign visitor: We are aware of that. They do have quite a few talented players, and we have noticed those guys' remarkable performance in 2005 FIFA World Youth Championship as well as in this Olympic Games. Yet...
Bar owner: Wait a minute. You should keep in mind that those guys will still be the main force of their team, say, in the coming seasons, and don't you forget that they were the runner-up in that World Youth Championship. That says a lot.
Foreign visitor: But we claimed the title, didn't we? Don't worry. Those players are fond of individual performances, and our teamwork is much better. Most importantly, we have a capable coach. His control of the flow of the game proves to be excellent. So I am not worried about the future. It is very promising.
Bar owner: You are convincing, sir. Okay, the game is about to start. Let's have half a dozen Ceronos and I'll watch it with you for the second time.
A few thoughts:
>There is no player on Argentina's team named Jurio. I believe they're actually talking about Lionel Messi.
>Ceronos? I've got no clue about that.
>The opponent they're referring to is Nigeria.
>I'm impressed that someone at BOCOG understands the cone of silence.
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