August 10, 2008 2:25 PM

Perusing the menu at a Beijing restaurant

By Chris Tomasson

BEIJING _ I skipped the pork's brain. And the goat's penis, too.

Before I continue, I should say there is a restaurant in China that specializes in the private parts of animals. Do a search on YouTube for "Chinese penis restaurant'' should you want to see video of such a dish.

Anyhow, I bypassed on the pork and goat delicacies at the Beijing restaurant I visited Sunday, which provided pictures on the menu. Let's save those for another blog, perhaps when the Olympics next come to China.

I had arrived at the Olympic basketball venue at 12:15 p.m. Sunday, not preparing to leave until 2 a.m. due to Team USA playing its first game at 10:15 p.m. Naturally, I expected there would be lunch and dinner available for purchase at the venue, as there always have been at venues at other Olympics.

Think again.

The Chinese have tried to prepare for these games. But there are still shortcomings.

No substantial meals are available at the basketball venue unless you order them 24 hours in advance. Thanks for telling me.

You can buy some stuff at the concession stand. But there's not much more available than some sausage thing, potato chips, dried noodles and Snickers bars.

Oh, there are free cookies available.

But, not thinking I was going to last for nearly 14 hours on cookies alone, I hit the street. The basketball venue, in the west part of Beijing, is not in a touristy area and there are only local restaurants.

Some, though, do have menus with some items listed in English. I settled into one, where they had an Olympic shooting event on TV, and some old Chinese men were sitting and smoking.

Here I was, within earshot of where LeBron James and Kobe Bryant were to be starring later in the day, but not a person in the restaurant spoke English. I did some pointing, and eventually ended up with a chicken-and-peanuts dish and a bowl of hot and sour soup.

At least I thought it was a bowl. It was more like a vat.

By the end of the meal, I had eaten like a visiting Mongolian prince.

Total cost, including a Coke: $5.

So now I'm ready for two weeks of Olympic basketball. No need to order any meals 24 hours in advance. After all, if I were to get the urge for pork's brain or goat's penis, they're not listed on the media menu.

Posted by Chris Tomasson at 2:25 PM | Comments (0)