August 15, 2008 4:59 AM
A.M./P.M.: Phelpsistan vs. The World
With Michael Phelps' latest gold medal today in the 200m individual medley, I'm starting to wonder whether Mr. Phelps is even aware that they're handing out other medals at these Olympics. Or that he doesn't need to shatter a world record each time in order to win the gold.But moving beyond that, Phelps now has six gold medals at these Games. So let's do a ridiculous hypothetical: if Michael Phelps was a country -- Phelpsistan, perhaps? -- how would he compare to the rest of the world?
Phelpsistan: 6 gold medals.
All of South America: 1 silver, 5 bronze (Argentina, Brazil and Columbia have medaled).
Non U.S. NAFTA countries: 1 bronze (Mexico has medaled; amazingly, Canada has not).
The Actual Stans: 3 silver, 5 bronze (Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan have medaled).
Countries that invented the Olympics (Greece): 0 medals.
Countries that have one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World: 1 bronze (Egypt has medaled; you're slacking, Babylonia).
Nordic countries: 1 gold, 3 silver, 5 bronze (Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden have medaled).
I don't see Phelpsistan rising as a major power just yet, though. Compared to countries who have medaled and have nuclear capabilities (China, France, India, North Korea, Russia, the U.K., the U.S.), he's still behind.
It's 7 p.m. in Beijing, and 5 a.m. in Denver. Here are the stories that are making Olympic headlines on this Friday evening/morning:
>Spanish tennis team defends Spanish basketball team with their own Asian-eyed photo. I should note: the concepts of irony and sarcasm don't exist in Spain.
>China's own news service is getting its gymnasts in trouble. Xinhua rarely does official reporting; they mostly get their news from spokesmen. So if they say it's true, someone from the Chinese government or Olympic team is feeding them the information directly.
-Your could-be-an-Onion-headline-of-the-day: "Yao Ming explodes in China's first win."
>Your actually-is-an-Onion-headline-of-the-day: "U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team: 'Win Or Lose, We Will Cry.'"
>What percentage of the U.S. women's team recognized the Mandarin word on this sign?
>Michael Phelps' official website, now in Chinese and English.
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[All Olympic medal totals as of noon Beijing time. Photo of Michael Phelps by Getty Images.]
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