August 10, 2008 5:34 PM
What I've Learned (II)
In July, I wrote out a list of things I'd learned in my time in China, stuff like, "Just because there's a picture of it on the menu doesn't mean it's not donkey meat." I think I'm ready to try round two of the things I've learned in China. Enjoy:
-If they're old enough to pick up a ping pong paddle, they're probably better than you already.
-The Chinese will cheer for helicopters or anything that has the Olympic logo on it. I do not know why.
-Do not ask the man at the Speedo store if they have the special shark suit in stock. He will not know what you're talking about.
-Subway line 10 has live TV coverage of the Games but no cell phone reception. All other subway lines have cell phone reception but no live TV coverage. Choose your subway route accordingly.
-The concept of "very far" is anything more than two blocks. The Chinese will encourage you to take a taxi to travel anything of this distance.
-Green camouflage: out. Gray camouflage: in.
-I get 10 CCTVs, 8 BTVs and two dozen other channels. But no TV guide.
-If you want to write a story about Tibet, you should first be able to find Tibet on a map.<<Words to live by in Beijing: our skies are never clear, but we have cheaper beer.
-It's okay to choke up on your chopsticks. But don't even think about asking for a fork.
-If you know 啤酒 (píjiǔ), everything else comes pretty easily.
-They're not saying what you think they're saying.
-The Chinese may be even more fanatical about watermelons than about pandas, which is pretty remarkable. They do love their pandas.
-Chicken feet cost more than chicken breast at the grocery store. There is no good explanation for this.
-Seeing Jackie Chan speak in Chinese is disconcerting. He looks so comfortable with the language. It just feels wrong.
-It is possible to pay for a meal with coins and receive back paper money. Example: I paid 4 yuan for a 3.5 yuan piece of chocolate cake and got back a .5 yuan bill (about $.07). Their currency is very strange.
-It's a good thing they make everything, because otherwise, they wouldn't be able to afford anything.
-The Chinese accept business cards with two hands. They accept cash with two hands. Really, for anything that requires securing, they use two hands. You'd think that this would make them a better defensive baseball team.
-There is certainly a rational explanation for what you've just witnessed. To which of you it is rational, that remains to be seen.
-Freedom is a relative term.
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