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June 19, 2008 11:33 PM

Tulowitzki: Between the Rockies and a hard place


When Tulo was sent to the DL he was hitting .152. The last guys to hit roughly .152 in the majors were named Garth Brooks and Billy Crystal. They didn't last longin the major leagues. The word on the street was that Garth Brooks had a lot of hits. Just not any of them in a ball park.

Tulo should return to form from last years promising season, but , clearly there is now pressure on him to put up the numbers that allowed him to sign a gazillion dollar deal with the Rockies.

My good friend , Mike Minter, gave me one of those new fly swatters that acts as an electrified bug zapper at the same time. I am known in our home as simply "the Fly Hunter". I will follow them for hours if one of them has mistakenly crossed into Litton airspace. We live in Parker and the flies here are about the size of fat flying chihuahua's. So this electrically charged fly swatter sounded like a great gift to get from a good friend who knows me well enough to know I hate flies buzzing my head like it was some control tower at DIA. I read the rather cryptic instructions which said something about "when activated the coils should hum." Sounded good to me. Live wires exposed from the wall do indeed buzz if you have enough juice running through them. So I turned it on and listened from a distance so as not to get my ear too close to the coils which would be fully charged with electricity. Sure, I'm an artist but I have no desire to go out like an earless Vincent Van Gogh . I heard no humming so I moved closer to the metal coils. Now somewhere about here my brain took a brief but dangerous leave of absence. I reached down and grabbed the swatters coils to see if there was any current in them. I suddenly smelled a puff of smoke, very much like the one seen in pld Micheal Jackson Pepsi commercial that set Jackson's hair on fire. The stinging pain of electrical current now searing my fingers was fast and furious. The dogs ran for cover probably because my hair now closely resembled Don Kings and my wife pulled the blankets over her head, I would presume for the same reason, though I suppose it could be she feared for her own personal safety. I called Mike Minter and accused him of trying kill me. If you really wanted to knock me off isn't there a better way of doing it than toasting your buddy with an electric fly swatter. Judging from the hysterical laughter on the other end of the phone I'm not sure he agreed. Just a note. The Fly is alive and well and living quite comfortably knowing I have absolutely no shot of ever zapping him into oblivion.


  • June 20, 2008

    10:31 AM

    James writes:

    Troy Tulowitzki is as overrated as any player that has come through the pipe for any MLB team in the last 20 years.
    People think he's a defensive whiz, but they forget how many of his wild throws to first base would go for errors if anyone but Todd Helton was playing first base for the Rockies. Also, the only reason he hit like he did last year was because no pitchers had seen him before. Now that the pitchers in the NL have had a little time over the winter to watch film, Tulowitzki has been exposed as yet another Rockies infielder that can play moderate defense, but can't hit and can't adjust to the great pitchers in the National League.

    I'm fully expecting waves of people to start jumping on the bandwagon again now that the Rockies have swept the Indians. However, you should first understand that the Indians aren't a good team either. They're barely above the Rockies in terms of talent and hustle. Add that they're playing an AL team in an NL park, and that means that Cleveland loses their regular DH.
    The Rockies should have traded Tulowitzki over the winter when he had actual value. Now they'll get nothing for him, they'll lose Holliday, Atkins, and Hawpe eventually. And to top it off, they're still on the hook for Helton and his stupid $18 million contract. Oh, and they have Jeff Francis, who will never win 10 games again in his career.

  • June 20, 2008

    10:41 AM

    Mike M writes:

    Attention all Flies, Mosquitos and Flying Vermin, stay clear of Parker, Judgement has come to town. And he's packing heat.

  • June 20, 2008

    10:45 AM

    Adam writes:

    James, enjoy the ride. The Rockies are at least fun to watch again now that they have turned it around a little bit. As for Tulo being the most overrated player in 20 years, you must be kidding. He started off last year poorly too, he just didn't get hurt during the rough start. It turns out he isn't the first player to ever have a "sophmore slump." I expect him to turn it around and because the D-Backs have struggled as well the Rockies should give them a little pressure.

  • June 20, 2008

    11:02 AM

    Charlie writes:

    Maybe Cleveland isn't a very good team, but besides the Indians the Rockies have beaten the Dodgers, Brewers, Giants and White Sox. They've won their past 5 series and are the only team in the NL West to have a winning record in the month of June.

    Tulo is the next Cal Ripken, just give him time to develop.

  • June 20, 2008

    11:04 AM

    Sreyas writes:

    Wow, someone is a pessimist.
    OK, let's start with your comments on the Rockies as a whole. Obviously you haven't even been following the Rockies for the last three weeks since "The Road Trip." They have won 5 straight series, and in fact, could have made at least 2 of those series sweeps. Additionally, they took a series from the first place White Sox in THEIR home stadium, so that negates your "just cuz they lose their DH" theory. Oh, and by the way, the Indians' DH, Travis Hafner, was hurt anyways!! The Rockies are simply starting to hit the ball again and they are getting quality starts (just look at the numbers during this resurgence, the only truly poor start that comes to mind was Reynolds against the Giants). This is the exact same team that won the pennant minus two or three parts, and even discounting the miracle stretch, they were still on pace for 83-86 wins. This is actually a good ballclub.

    Now on to your Tulo assertions. OK, wild throws; that happens once in a while with people who can throw the ball 93 mph! The point you didn't address is his range. He has INSANE range, even considering that it might be cut short a little bit cuz of the injury. His range and arm put together DO make him a defensive wizard. Helton bails him out far fewer times than he makes plays that even an above average shortstop couldn't make. As far as offensive numbers, he's probably a .270-/.285 hitter, but he still has a lot of power and on-base skills, so you can be sure that his 24 homers last year won't be the last time he hits that many in his career.

    And I'm just going to quote you to address my argument against your offseason roster moves.

    "The Rockies should have traded Tulowitzki over the winter when he had actual value."

    Oh yeah, you'd make John Schuerholtz and Billy Beane real proud with that one.

    GO ROX!

  • June 20, 2008

    12:59 PM

    Brett writes:

    I'm waiting for Jacobs mommy to let him use the computer so we can hear his opinion.
    I need my laugh for the day.

  • June 20, 2008

    1:00 PM

    T.C. writes:

    Oh boy. Here come the bandwagon Rockies fans again. Don't worry, you'll be jumping ship by about this same time next week.

  • June 20, 2008

    1:58 PM

    Friar John writes:

    Yeah, seriously. What is is about Colorado sports fans? You all jump on and off the bandwagon like no others.

  • June 20, 2008

    2:49 PM

    [-=m2=-] writes:

    Aren't we due for a Sakic rumor right about now? Today is the draft.

    As for the Rox, all I want is a consistent finish. That's fine we'll miss the playoffs, but I do want to build off last year. I like the pieces we have in place.

  • June 20, 2008

    3:08 PM

    Bob writes:

    Saturday is the NHL draft. Not today.

  • June 20, 2008

    7:25 PM

    Tony writes:

    Uh Bob? Its Friday night and there's this this really cool show on TV from Ottawa, where these hockey teams announce the names of young men they have drafted. They give'em hockey sweaters and hats. Might want to check it out.
    Its called the NHL Draft. MORON!

  • June 21, 2008

    11:08 PM

    Megan writes:

    For all of you accusing people of hopping on and off the Rockies bandwagon...are you actually fans of the home team or just people who like to bash when they're down? I don't appreciate the bandwagon either but give the Rockies a break b/c I bet y'all we're cheering them on too last year during the World Series run.
    And if you say you are a fan then quit whining and support the team.

  • June 22, 2008

    8:46 PM

    Anonymous writes:

    Joe Sakic has retired from the NHL.

    Sorry for the late report.

  • June 23, 2008

    8:05 AM

    Anonymous writes:


    We're not fans of the home team, and yes, we like to bash them when they're down. See, aside from a lucky 6-8 weeks last Fall, the Rockies have sucked, so our job is generally very simple.
    Yes, we hate the Rockies. Yes, we enjoy picking on them.
    It's lots of fun. Thanks for asking.

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