January 1, 2009 11:48 AM
The Denver Mets?The Broncos became the first NFL team to lead a division for 16 weeks and not make the playoffs. To commemorate the event, they will officially change their name to the Mets.
LaDainian Tomlinson reported Monday that he may have hurt his groin in the Chargers' 52-21 win over the Broncos. San Diego had only been in the playoffs for a day, and they already had their excuse for the inevitable collapse.
Louisiana Tech beat Northern Illinois to win the Independence Bowl. Yeah, we are soooo glad there's no playoff system.
The Red Sox agreed to terms with Brad Penny. He would have signed with the Yankees, but they said his name indicates that he's $9,999,999.99 below their pay grade.
A sports medicine clinic in Houston will remove Roger Clemens' name from their building. In a similar story, management will remove Jose Canseco's name from his shirt at Jiffy Lube.
Members of the San Francisco 49ers grew mustaches this weekend to go along with their throwback uniforms. But since it is San Francisco, wearing a costume and growing a mustache is hardly expected to stand out.
Tom Brady is rumored to have proposed to his girlfriend Gisele Bundchen on Christmas Eve. It's nice to hear that at least one Patriot will be getting a ring this year.
The New York Yankees have signed backup catcher Kevin Cash. They plan to use half a billion of him to pay for their other free agents.
MMA fighter Justin Eilers was killed in a domestic dispute, marking the third such death in MMA. This proves what boxers have long since known: Fighting at home is not always an advantage.
And a Detroit Lions player called their final game against Green Bay "our Super Bowl." He's right in that neither team will play another game until next season.
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) is written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy and Chris Strait.