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Upon announcing his administration’s new strategy for winning in Iraq, President Bush also asked for any fresh ideas. Here is my plan, which I believe is as realistic at this point as his:
First, I would send in a spec ops unit led by Chuck Norris; there would be a lot of hand-to-hand combat, with the terrorists being thrown across tables and chairs that break easily.
Next I would order a pinpoint air attack by an ace air squadron with Tom Cruise leading the way. While the targets are being shown getting blown up, CNN and Fox News could add a stirring contemporary musical soundtrack, to lift the war-weary American morale.
Finally, Steven Segal would single-handedly move in to secure the troubled areas of Baghdad. He would do this by twisting the evil terrorists’ arms and bending thumbs until they cry “Uncle!” The other bad guys seeing this, would immediately throw down their weapons and run. Segal would then defuse a bomb attached to a major oil pipeline with two seconds left on the countdown.
My plan is under review.

S. Bath, Northglenn

READER COMMENTS

S. Bath, your ingenious satire should make it all the way to the Pentagon! There are probably many hawks who would take it seriously enough to implement. The Washington warriors have been living in fantasyland ever since Reagan imagined himself Luke Skywalker with his Star Wars trip.

Lift war weary morale? We're war weary BECAUSE of the media, not because of a lack of good news.

Instead of this winning and plausible strategy, we seem to have sent Bill Murray to Iraq. Every day is Groundhogs Day: over and over and over and .....

War weary BECAUSE of the media? You are such a sham you didn't even sign your name. Coward. The media has covered this war thoroughly, if not fairly. I say if not because, for my tastes, they were a bit too much in Bush's pocket when the run-up to war began. Perhaps had they been a bit more steadfast in their reporting we wouldn't be in this quagmire of a war now.

I can't believe all the people that want to just pull the troops out of Iraq, with no other plan. Let's put this in perspective, shall we?

Let's look at Denver. Big gang problems right? It's been in the paper, and it's terrible. So, according to the anti-war advocates, we should disband the gang unit, fire all the police, and just let it all work itself out, right? Hey, it's not in my neighborhood, so why worry about it. That would be insane. We would add police, add budget to the gang unit and get to the root cause right?

Well... How is that any different than Iraq? Is it because "those people" are not here and they brought it on themselves? Think about it, and use examples your feeble minds can comprehend.

Pulling them out *is* a plan.

Even me with my "feeble mind" can see that.

Not much of a plan. Complex problems need complex solutions, not poorly thought out ones. I hear a lot of complaining about how little planning the Bush administration put into their plans to attack Iraq, which is quite a valid point about an incompetetent administration, but I fail to see how an equally poorly planned retreat will put the US in any better of a situation.

There are a lot of plans that would be more responsible than simply leaving the Iraqis to their fate. I think most sensible people agree that leaving abruptly isn't a valid option, but sending more troops into a situation where they can't do any good is even worse.

The Iraq Study Group proposed a decent middle ground centered around diplomacy and negotiations, and I think it's pretty clear that this problem will never be solved solely by military tactics.

What I think most people are upset about is that the Current Occupant hasn't even begun to work on a way to get us out responsibly. Instead, he's still putting more guys IN. That's insulting on every level, but about what you'd expect from a man who's failed at everything else he's tried so far.

I don't think it could be said better Greg

This is quickly becoming a country of left wing cowards. "Cut and run!" Great plan from the Dems, but becoming a constant from the left.

Where was the concern for the Iraqi people when Saddam Hussein was commiting Crimes Against Humanity and Saint President Ronald was SUPPORTING him? Where was the outrage when Iraq attacked the USS Stark killing dozens of sailors? The American people didn't care about Iraqi people then and we don't care now. Iraq is no threat to the US and without steel mills, shipyards aircraft plants, etc, Iraq will never be a threat. We should "cut" our losses and immediately leave.

Bruce, It's fairly obvious that American's don't care about anything that doesn't affect their own self-interests, and that includes the welfare of people from other nations. If they did, this conversation would be about millions dying in Africa, not thousands dying in Iraq.

This just might work. You see, back in the 60s we were under the impression (using the letter writer's same sources) that John Wayne had single-handedly won WWII (with the help of Audie Murphy). Using that logic, we expected Wayne to bail us out of the 'Nam. Well, it didn't work out exactly that way, however, we did leave the jungle and we now trade with that lovely country. Tourism is doing well, too. So, there is a plausibility with the plan. Beats Bush's, anyway.

I agree with Flip Washington. I wrote many letters, not being in favor of invading Iraq, but we did it anyway. There is a constant drumbeat that winning this war and re-building Iraq is the more important than anything else on our agenda. If this is true, THEN DO IT!

All you anti-war, cut and run, quitters probably handle all the problems of your personal life the same way. Got a problem? Don't face it, look for an easy way out.

You provide yourselves as the best weapon the insurgents have, to break the will of America to see something through to the correct end. Because of you, they continue to kill innocents everyday to get headlines which the media are happy carriers to the US to incite your thoughtless rhetoric..

Without your support.......Interesting.

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