Evolution vs. creationism
This letter has not been edited.
Yes, why can't everybody who goes to school or has children in school just give in accept that Allah is the supreme being who created everything. When asked the question what is water made of, David is secure in the belief that Allah made it. Soon it will be time to get rid of the non believers and bring forth the true answer to everything, which is Allah did it. It's past due to get rid of the chalkboards and the lights and everything that science has given us and get to the truth that Allah created it.
Posted by Paul on May 29, 2007 02:02 PMhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
seriously, mr cook. You had me going for a second there! Good stuff.
You mean there's an internet web page on creation? Well, stop the presses, that proves creation is true!
What a joke.
Posted by Tbone on May 29, 2007 02:10 PMpeople like this guy scare me
Posted by just sayin' on May 29, 2007 02:13 PMMr. Cook is obviously living in his own personal State of Denial.
What a freaking moron!
Aaron
Don't you people understand that Noah loaded all kinds of dinosaurs on the Ark? And why didn't they eat all the other animals? Because, those razor sharp teeth and claws were for eating coconuts. Geez...
That's just a sampling of the creationist BS you will find on those "websites". If people are stupid enough to believe this kind of thing, they will believe anything. The more brainless sheeple, the better. Much easier to mislead and control that way.
Posted by on May 29, 2007 02:30 PMI'm spending the rest of the day burying some fossils for others to find later and conclude the Earth is older than it actually really is. That darn Bible, it is a full time job tricking people into believing it isn't word for word exactly true. Not sure whay my motive is but doing so anyway.
Posted by Scientist on May 29, 2007 02:43 PMYea Mr Cook, And humans have only been here for 7000 yrs and Eve came from Adams Rib... Give me a break! I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee! People like you are scary and you need to realize that there are some people in this world that are finally seeing the truth for once when it comes to religion (Thank God)! No pun intended!
Posted by pagen on May 29, 2007 02:57 PM“Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner (I Tim.2) and by her we will all die (Ecc.25) and woman is not the equal of men( Lev.12) but a possession Gen.19,Jud.19) and his sexual slave (Num.31) who must learn in full submission (I Tim.2) and never have authority over a man.”
Thank you Jesus; now these damned uppity women will know their place. Your Father started it all when he created Adam and from his rib his daughter whom he took for his wife and and viola you, Jesus, came from the "loins of David" and transmogrified into a Christian god destined to be assisted in your suicide to save David Cook from hell's fire.
However, David, God made a big mistake in having Noah bring termites on board the wooden Ark and they went down with the ship with a full belly. Thank god for Intelligent Design, his droughts, earthquakes, volcanoes, viruses, lightning, floods, and especially his premier scribes to reduce to print what god expects of humans. Listen up, David: I extend an invitation reiterated here:
I recognize what the bulk of readers are thinking: "Deicide Grimes is brilliant, however: don't fall into this canard (a deliberately misleading fabrication). The reality is that I steal a lot; I even steal from Sharon: Risen Ape. I steal from dictionary.com: Lisl is a "murderess," says Mike: Defined: To kill another human unlawfully, to kill brutally or inhumanly, to kill or slaughter inhumanly or barbarously is murder. Mike is reduced to name-calling while ex-boyfriend laughs at the saga his conduct created. I chide Mike.
Actually, I am a manager of a cemetery called Mythology where gods are dieing to get into. You will find 3 freshly dug graves not for the Trinity but for the god of Abraham, the jealous, genocidal, priggish and self-contradicting tyrant of the bible and the Koran who could not exist because no god can be that cruel. This includes the transmogrified Jew from the "loins of David" who should be grateful that Allah did not turn into a monkey, him being Jewish, the same Allah that creates virgins without menses, stools or urine for his male slaves (women get nothing).
You can meet this Risen Ape deicide manager of Mythology cemetery on June 2 between 12 and 3 Saturday at the People's fair where he will park your bicycle with Keith saying: "Oh, yah, brilliant my ___. You fill in the blank lest I be stricken.
I don't care if you are Jewish, Muslim or Christian, a democrat, republican, libertarian, and green party: The graves are for gods not duped humans. I'll park your bike as an old guy with white hair wearing a blasphemous tee shirt horny enough to be a TV evangelist.
Dave Cook,
You're either a put-on or stark-raving mad. Come on, tell us whichisit...
Well, in either case, thanks for the laughs.
Posted by Charles B on May 29, 2007 04:34 PMI believe that a race of skeleton people once ruled the Earth. Every grave, or mass-grave, is filled with skeletons. Ergo, the Earth was once ruled by skeleton people.
Posted by Sean on May 29, 2007 04:46 PMMr. Cook, did you clean your overalls and shine your tooth before writing that letter? It's hard to take anyone seriously someone who claims to know the de facto scientific truth of our origins, yet can't spell the word "lose". At least you got one thing right-- evolution is indeed not "rocket science". (rolls eyes)
Posted by Dan on May 29, 2007 05:10 PMI'm glad to see I'm not David Cook of Loveland's only fan. Like Tbone, I'm convinced that he's been putting us on all this time--he doesn't believe his self-contradictory (creationism is not "rocket science," but we should teach it school anyway because school is for reaffirming beliefs and prejudices, not--Creator forbid!--learning anything new) fundamentalist rant any more than the rest of us. Talk about self-parodies! You'd think, though, that all those relatives he has on the staff of Rocky Mountain News that make sure his letters are a constant source of amusement for us all could wangle a regular humor column for him. Look out, David Barry!
Posted by Hans Christian Brando on May 29, 2007 05:11 PMYou just cannot beat "Evolution...is pure secular religious bedrock atheist propaganda"
Evolution is secular but also religious, religious but also atheist.
Well at least he grants that it is pure.
If anybody is looking for a really hilarious Creationist website, the best one I've ever seen is this one: http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/. Give it a look. I especially like the part that proves Noah was real by claiming that kangaroo skeletons can be found in the Middle East.
I also like the "celibacy g-string." Seriously, if you could use a good laugh, or a good gag gift, check this place out.
Posted by Grog on May 29, 2007 05:36 PMYep, it is satire, I went back and read it again. Poor old Darwin, inventing this so the U.S.A. can be ruled by leftists.
Damn, Cook found out our plot. Time to stop working on Evolution and try some other evil way to liberalize America
Posted by Sharon B. on May 29, 2007 05:42 PMGrog, ewww
Reminds me of Lewis's statement "When fascism comes to America, it will be draped in the flag and carrying a bible."
The combination of nationalism, fundamentalist/obscurantist religion, and commerce is a fascinating blend.
You are all wrong. The universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May he have mercy on your souls for your blasphemy in believing otherwise.
If you do not believe me simply Google Flying Spaghetti Monster. There are many web pages so that proves it is real.
Posted by Dave II on May 29, 2007 06:12 PMDave II
Ramen!
Posted by on May 29, 2007 07:38 PMQuick! Beam me up, Scotty! Now I KNOW there's no intelligent life on this planet!
Posted by Old Grouch on May 29, 2007 08:26 PMIt is not ramen you blasphemer for ramen does not contain meatballs and is not consumed by pirates.
Only true followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster shall achieve enlightenment. The rest shall be cast out into the marinaraless lands.
Posted by Dave II on May 29, 2007 09:19 PMOld Grouch,
Surely, you do not mean to imply that my belief in the FSM is any more irrational than anothers belief in some ancient angry desert god from the Fertile Crescent.
How dare you question my Faith! Why, why don't you believe in anything?
Posted by Dave II on May 29, 2007 09:24 PMIt is my understanding that there are at least two groups striving to revive the Hellenic Religions of ancient Greece.
Of course as a true follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I pity their misguided souls. It is still interesting.
http://www.geocities.com/athens/aegean/7773/
Posted by Dave II on May 29, 2007 09:30 PMOr as someone wiser than I once said, "It's turtles all the way down."
Posted by Dave II on May 29, 2007 09:39 PMDarwin's Theory of Evolution addresses the development of life forms through the "war of nature" or natural selection but makes no attempt to explain creation.
The concluding sentence of Darwin's "Origin of Species" is;
"There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed by the Creator into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved."
Darwin was a creationist and we need both.
Posted by James Jones on May 29, 2007 09:42 PM[Thanks for letting us know! I have put it in the ID log and corrected the attributions -- HM]
Attention Hall Monitor
RickyLee and skeptical are not the same.
We work at the same location and therefore have similar e-mail addresses.
As for the posts to this brave letter writer.
I say brave because as believers, we are definitely in the minority amidst a rather ravenous pack of unbelievers. :-) Just a little joke Mr. & Mrs. B.
I see someone named "Just Sayin'" posted .................
people like this guy scare me
I have some news for you and the other atheists and deists of varying sorts.............
if you think the writer of this letter is scary................. you will one day stand before the Living God, the Father of Jesus Christ.
According to the wording of the Word of God,
you will not just be scared, you will be terrified because you will realize that you have no Savior.
It's not a done deal until He returns or you die. Consider the great love of the Lord and repent while you have time.
JJ, finally got something right in his first lines. Maybe even skeptical is not beyond hope.
Posted by Sharon B. on May 30, 2007 03:49 AMMr. Cook's letter makes me wonder if perhaps he is the missing link.
Posted by Liam on May 30, 2007 05:49 AMI will take all of your marklars and replace them with marklars. You may not have any good marklars but the Marklar will show you the marklar.
Posted by Marklar on May 30, 2007 08:15 AMSkeptical,
You do not know how wrong you are. You will one day find yourself in front of the noodly appendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Unless you want to spend eternity without Marinara you need to accept his love and his meatballs.
Posted by Dave II on May 30, 2007 09:13 AMGrog, I hit your site and don`t know if I should laugh or cry.
The part about telling on athiests is scary and just a little bit of a hint what life would be like under a "Christian Nation".
Moshie kangaroo, that is silly but discusting at the same time.
What a bunch of out right lies. thanks for this. I think.
Posted by Sharon B. on May 30, 2007 09:19 AMSkeptical contends the Jew who cometh "from the loins of David" a couple thousand years ago will come again as an omniscient real estate broker to fulfill his vow mentioned six biblical times to come within a generation of when he walked the earth. His vow has me quaking in my boots: Sacred genocide: Sheep go up; goats go down. Skeptical the sheep will levitate up to the clouds; the Jew will drop down and they will jump into bed for eternity.
See y'all at the People's Fair June 2; I'll park your bike and make sure the transmogrified Jew doesn't levitate it.
Posted by Richard Grimes: Deicide: Risen Ape managing a cemetary called Mythology r22037@yahoo.com on May 30, 2007 09:40 AMBetter head to Cincinnati, Cook, they just opened a museum for idiots just like you. I'm sure your feeble little brain will rhapsodize at the vision of angels spiriting Tyranasauruses on to the Ark, where they happily settled in for extended sailing with all those other creatures they couldn't eat. Sadly, you'll find no explanation whatsoever for the subsequent distribution of species around the world, but that's OK, it's only a museum for you stupid people anyway.
Posted by CD on May 30, 2007 10:59 AMSo this is where all the liberals are hanging out. All we need are anderson and Truth to complete the gang.
Hey Old Grouch and Charles B., you seemed to have abandoned our discussion on the Constitution. At least you guys gave it a shot. Truth didn't even want to play. I guess he was hoping to quote the Constitution out of context and not get called on it.
But, I asked two really easy questions. The second question simply required a yes or no answer. Instead, I get the usual speeches about what "John II believes".
Posted by John II on May 30, 2007 12:42 PMAs we post, TB and MRSA are causing real problems for people. Someone tell the germs that according to Creation non-sciences, they can`t evolve.
Creationists now call this micro-evolution and kind of accept it. slowly we are pushing them toward a real view of nature.
Those pesky dinosaurs helped us a lot. Kids love dinos and they have to be acknowledged. Progress is very slow though. But we will prevail.
Posted by Sharon B. on May 31, 2007 04:36 AMWaaal now, Sharon,
You know them thar germs cain't "evolve". God done sent them thar things, like AIDS an sich, aspecial, jest ta show usns how all riled up He/She war bout not abein all down on our knees ta repent tha sins o toleratin' them thar fellers an girls what war alivin them thar a-bom-in-a-ble life-styles.
Atter all, He/She done told Pat Robertson so, pussonaly, on Pat's own private fax line ta Paradise. (Er, war thet ol Falwell? Whichever. Airyways, t'war the Word o the Lord. Er mebe tha Lady, disrecomember which.)
Now you be careful thar, Sharon; Don't want thet thar "skeptical" achidin ya fer what's agonna happen ta yer soul by not afollerin them thar Jesus boys. Now do ya?
Acorse, i allus done wondered how them thar Brontosaurasus, what war nigh on 100 foot long, er more, an waid a ton er so each, done fit in thet thar Ark. But, fer shore, jest give yer soul - an yer wallet - ta Je$u$ - like "skeptical" tells ya ta do - an yall larn all bout it, whan ya gets thet thar pie in tha sky, by and by.
Take keer now, an be shore an get saved.
Posted by Old Grouch on May 31, 2007 11:07 AMHey OG, that kids site makes my hackles rise. I guess God just plunked down some new bugs. Punishment for sure.
All the dinos were vegatarians, don`t cha know.? That ark was a floating salad bar.
No one ever mentioned all the plants under water, how long?
40 days of rain, but the water stayed up for a long time, yet all the greens and trees made it.
Do they have skunks in the Middle East? Or beavers, or, well you get my "drift".
Posted by Sharon B. on May 31, 2007 12:30 PM