Purity ball
Am I the only person who read the article about the “Purity Ball” and thought, “Ewwwww!"? The photograph of a dad with his heavily made up twelve year old daughter at the ball gave me the creeps. There are so many things wrong with this one-sided account of chastity that I barely know where to begin.
Is chastity only the girls’ burden to carry? Where are the purity balls for the boys? The entire tone of this article reminds me of a Stepford Wives world. The characterization of one of the girls as “stylish” and the description of a suitor as “an Air Force catch” harkens back to a time when the sheets were hung out for display after a wedding night as a sign of the bride’s virginity. I wonder if the “Air Force catch” had shared a kiss with someone prior to his marriage. Is it okay for him to have a sexual history, perhaps because of his status as a “catch?” It’s shameful what these fathers are doing to these girls under the guise of “protection.” Talk to your daughters (or better yet to your daughters and sons) about abstinence - fine. But to trot them out on display makes it seem like this is more about their dads’ egos than anything else.
Of course, the entire issue of whether or not pledges of abstinence actually work was completely avoided. Many peer reviewed studies have shown that these pledges don’t result in lower instances of STD’s. More than half who take the pledges, only one year later, deny ever having made them. Another study found that young people who take a formal pledge do not delay having sex.
As for theses fathers cherishing their daughters, how many of them cherished their wives enough to wait until they were married for their first kiss, or their first sexual encounter? Or is this something that’s only good enough for their daughters?
Lest anyone think I’m a permissive parent, that isn’t the case. I’m a Sunday School teaching wife and mother who happens to think that some things are better dealt with in a more private manner. Good morals are taught day in and day out. If these dads really want to cherish their daughters, spend time with them every day, love them, teach them to be critical thinkers, and set a good example. One doesn’t need to have an annual public event to do that.
This letter has not been edited.
As I read the article, it was the "purity' of the fathers that was pledged.
That really confused me. Have they changed the message/
How does a man show purity to his daughter? By being honest in business dealings? By being kind to his neighbors?
Upholding his marriage vows?
Posted by Sharon B. on September 23, 2007 03:47 PMBoys DO have purity balls.They're blue.
Posted by Jimminy on September 23, 2007 05:53 PMBut those girls are pure for daddy and daddy only. WTF? It looked like they were taking their daughters to prom, I wonder if they sat in the car and had tickle pink wine after and daddy showed her the pure path.
Posted by on September 23, 2007 11:20 PMJimminy,
That's the best one yet!
Posted by Old Grouch on September 24, 2007 08:36 AMJiminy- got a good chuckle out of that one- thanks!
Posted by drew on September 24, 2007 01:07 PMOkay, jimminy you get the best post award.
Posted by Sharon B. on September 24, 2007 03:30 PMThis whole thing is a little like Victorian times when a girl was Daddy's property until he "gave her away" in marriage to a man of his choice - usually someone who could help Daddy financially. The girl had no self determination. Sure, I can see fathers caring about their daughters & trying to protect them from heartbreak, but Daddy doesn't always know best & sometimes it is Daddy who is the pervert. Maybe Daddy "loves" his little girl just a little too much. Taking a preteen girl on a formal date to a formal ball is a little yucky. Care for girls, teach them, lead them, encourage them to grow to be strong, independent, thinking women. This is too much like Muslims keeping their women in isolation & veiled.
Posted by Carol on September 25, 2007 07:20 AM