May 2007

Hill's a very kinky girl?

Maybe not. But if you watch her latest video -- yes, video -- you can rock along with her to Rick James. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You won't turn it up to 11.

This is the fun Hillary. Go to YouTube -- here's the link -- and watch for yourself. She wants you to help her pick out a campaign song - anything's gotta be better than Bill's "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) -- and laugh at the idea along with her. And you also get to hear a clip from "Sexyback."

George Bush says the fight over Alberto Gonzales is so much "political theater." And then Marilyn Musgrave -- yes, Marilyn Musgrave!!! -- stunningly joins the troupe.

Political theater? How about theater of the absurd.

When Musgrave goes over to the other side, you can start picking out your headline. Here are a few theatrical samples:

Curtains for Gonzo. Last call for Gonzo. Light's out for Gonzo.

I know: Gonzo -- Exit stage right.

I was ready to be outraged that Rudy Giuliani and John Edwards both have invested in companies that are doing business in Sudan.

But then I found out that I'm doing it, too.

Unlike Giuliani, I don't have $13 million to $45 million to throw around, although I think I can make a better estimate of my, uh, wealth than give-or-take $32 million. Let's just say it's also somewhat less than Edwards' $29 million, which is what happens when you've never worked for a hedge fund.

Of course, since I'm not running for president, no has ever asked me to disclose my vast holdings. But I do have a 401(k) plan. And it turns out that one of the mutual funds I'm invested in is apparently a Sudan offender.

I've had two close friends die recently. Another friend is now deciding whether to undergo one more round of chemo that, the doctors say, might buy him an additional 3 months -- at, of course, a terrible cost.

I mention this because I'm too steeped in death just now to write in any depth about Jerry Falwell. Anyone who reads this blog already knows how I felt about the Moral Majority -- which, someone once quipped, was neither -- and its effect on American politics. Or about a TV evangelist who would worry that a cartoon character might be gay.

I'm only glad that Fox News wisely decided not to have the Republican presidential candidates comment on Falwell during their debate in South Carolina. All 10 would have stumbled over each other in praising him -- and we would have been left to guess what percentage of that praise was self-serving political calculation. Falwell, in death, deserved better than that. We all deserve better than that.

The Republicans debate again tonight, which means Rudy Giuliani gets a do-over. But I doubt it will do him much good.

Giuliani has a big problem. He's pro-choice, and there's no way he can talk his way around it. He's pro-choice. He has given money to Planned Parenthood. He says poor women should have the same rights to an abortion as other women. This sounds remarkably like -- you guessed it - Hillary Clinton.

He may say he "hates" abortion. He may say, to mix it up, he "abhors" abortion. But he's pro-choice in an anti-choice party, where a lot of people equate abortion with murder. So what's a poor Rudy to do?

We all know Republicans and Democrats are different. But you don't need a party platform to understand that. You just need a dictionary.

If you watched the presidential debates, you know what I mean. And if you don't, check out this great graphic in The Washington Post, produced by Karen Yourish and Laura Stanton. It's called "Fighting Words," and it's an analysis of the words Democrats and Republicans use in the presidential race.

The question in the Republican presidential debate was whether anyone on the stage didn't believe in evolution.

Sam Brownback's hand shot up. Then Mike Huckabee's. Then, finally, Tom Tancredo's. That's 30 percent of the Republican candidates, for those of you who believe in percentages.

There was no follow-up question. So we didn't get to hear what exactly Tancredo does believe in on the topic. I'm sure ace Rocky reporter M.E. Sprengelmeyer will be on the case.

The first big Republican test is coming Thursday night at the Reagan Library, where the presidential candidates will debate.

The question for all 10 of them: Can they measure up? And in 30 seconds each?

Not against each other. But against, say, Ronald Reagan -- and there are office pools about how often Reagan's name will be mentioned during the 90 minutes. The over-under is 33.

But also, and maybe even more important, can they measure up against Arnold Schwarzenegger? As if debates weren't tough enough, the Governator will apparently be on hand Thursday (says the L.A. Times) to provide the evening with real star power. He'll be the guest of Nancy Reagan, and she won't be the only one staring approvingly at him. So will the candidates. So will the TV cameras.
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