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Focus on mending families

Thursday, March 22 at 12:01 AM

This Speakout has not been edited

By Holly Hatch, Fort Collins

My heart dropped in disappointment when I read the article "Children need both a mother and a father" published in the Rocky Mountain News on February 28th in the opinion section by James C. Dobson. If we are to make statements or judgments in discriminating against members of our society, we must look at the issue closely, putting aside bigotry, religious beliefs and focus on mending differences rather than separation.

Focus on the Family founder and chairman James C. Dobson wrote this article in his attempt to persuade a larger public that children with parents of the same sex put the child at a disadvantage. He believes that "children need both a mother and a father, and neither can do the job as well alone." It is surprising to me that a man with the credentials and education he has, as he has a PhD, he holds such a narrow view on an issue that is finally making headway.

Family life can be traumatic these days. There are many dysfunctional heterosexual families out there and divorce rates are skyrocketing, breaking up families and creating traumatic tension. So, if a homosexual couple wants a child why should we neglect the child the opportunity at having two parents who love them?

I think the issue of Dobson's point goes beyond his work with children's hospital research and moves to a larger issue of his bigotry due to his astoundingly fundamentalist religious views. In the Focus on the Family mission statement Dobson says that his association's purpose is to defend "the God-ordained institution of the family and promoting biblical truths worldwide." It seems to me that his evidence is less based on scientific evidential studies and more on his religious and moral beliefs, which should never interfere with another person's right in any venue of life.

In his article, Dobson says he's worked in adolescent studies, yet the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) issued a statement in June of 1999 saying: " [THE]Outcome studies of children raised by parents with a homosexual or bisexual orientation, when compared to heterosexual parents, show no greater degree of instability in the parental relationship or developmental dysfunction in children." (There are over one dozen more associations like this one).

I urge you, Mr. Dobson, to put aside your religious doctrine, and readers to think about the welfare of the child as not being confined to a mother and father, but to see that the love of any two parents will give the child a happy and healthy family life amidst a world of divorce, child abuse, and domestic violence.

Holly Hatch is a CSU student active in the GLBT community in Fort Collins Colorado and has written numerous articles defending gay rights and promoting equal opportunity.

READER COMMENTS

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Posted by swgi xdcmsrpwk on November 23, 2007 06:56 AM

This is actually kind of a tough issue. Dobson doesn't have to be a bigot to come to the conclusions he comes to, but clearly he does have a predisposition on the issue, and it's silly to pretend he doesn't. He opposes homosexuality in general, and he doesn't have to say it hurts kids when parents are gay to say, in his opinion, it's not a good thing for people to do. He says it hurts kids because, right or wrong, he thinks it does hurt kids to miss out on one parent of each gender.

I saw the study that concluded children of “same-sex parents" don't suffer any observable disadvantages in a bunch of different areas (only in quotes because there are a BUNCH of different permutations for this, often one bio-mother and her partner, and because in most states, even adopted children still only get one legal parent in a same-sex-couple household). But, just by way of example, there are a couple studies out there that show not having a father in the home has very significant effects on many children- male and female... so how would that effect a child in a "2 mothers" household? Would the second “mother” make up for it? Or do kids actually need a male parent? From what I have seen, we don't know, and the study doesn't really address that, but the conclusions SUGGEST that the male is beneficial just because he's male (assuming he is not a destructive or abusive person), and that offers some benefits to kids. And the fact is, Ms. Hatch is going to say she thinks one thing, and Dobson is going to say he thinks another thing. They both have an agenda, even if most of us are very much more sympathetic to one or the other- and this is one where most people already have an idea where they stand, either way.

We won't really know for a while yet what impact all these things have on kids or if there is much impact at all, and in the end there are a LOT of studies that could be done- and probably should be done, if only to shut up one side or the other on the issue- take your pick which side based on YOUR predispositions... but figure that folks not only think they already know the answer to this- they desperately WANT the answer to be one or the other, and won't like the study if they don't get the answer they like. And it is not sufficient to compare gay couples to straight couples for parenting. You also have to compare gay couples to single parents, too, because in the end, if a gay couple turns out to be better than a single parent, that bears on the issue in a BIG way. Even if Dobson was right, that one male and one female is better than two of either, if two gay parents are better than a single parent, that tosses a lot of Dobson's presumed agenda on this issue right out the window (to be fair, I have not heard him address this aspect- only that one male and one female serves the children better than two of either). Which kind leads me to the conclusion that people need to step carefully in this area. Progressive states will provide us with more same-sex couple homes with children, whatever anybody says, and the right people should be researching them, with an open mind and a willingness to let the chips fall where they may. And in the meantime, I would not want to be calling anybody names for thinking they know what the answer is- because almost anybody who cares already thinks they know what the answer is- one way or the other.

Posted by Michael Trimble on April 2, 2007 01:00 AM

If nature made you homosexual, then nature intended that you not reproduce and subsequently have children.

Posted by Tom on March 24, 2007 09:20 AM

In my observations, children raised by 1 parent are at a definite, profound, lifetime disadvantage compared to children who have been raised in a home with both biological parents. Children raised in families with step-mothers or step-fathers were also are at a slight disadvantage compared to children raised in the natural family, except when one or both parents abused alcohol. Whenever alcohol abuse was present in families I have observed, the kids almost always ended up worse off, regardless of the marital status or orientation of the parents. I do not agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but 2 parents & 2 incomes, will usually provide a more stable environment to raise kids in. Beyond that, I think it all comes down to love. I think most kids would rather be adopted and be with a family than in an orphanage.

Posted by Jay on March 23, 2007 11:15 AM

John. The difference between Holly's point of view and that of Dr. Dobson is not one of "difference of opinion." Dr. Dobson continues to make statements like "studies support . . ." but has yet to cite even ONE scientifically credible, empirically valid study to back up his bigoted (yes, I said the "B" word) comments. At least Holly is doing some critical thinking and looking at the unbiased data rather than simple proselytizing .

Posted by Evan on March 22, 2007 02:38 PM

Here is yet another examle of a member of the 'GLBT' community crying 'BIGOT!' when someone disagrees with their radical agenda. Holly, I hope that by the time you graduate from college you come to realize that people will often disagree with you, and just because they hold an opposing view doesn't make them a bigot.

Posted by John on March 22, 2007 11:22 AM