[an error occurred while processing this directive]

LATEST SUBMISSIONS

It’s All About the Love

Saturday, May 12 at 12:01 AM

This Speakout has not been edited

By Ellen Contard, Aurora

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate very important women in our lives. Let us take a moment to reflect – why are mothers so important? What about mothers merits an entire day just to celebrate them?

Perhaps the most important characteristic that distinguishes mothers from all other women in a person’s life is unconditional love. However, few people ever think of the first acts of unconditional love – often the most important, since they have a huge impact on her child’s future well-being – the ones that made the mother who she is: carrying a child in her womb for almost a year and giving birth.

During pregnancy, a mother is very conscious of how she affects her developing baby. Every morsel she eats, every drop she drinks, goes to the baby – so she chooses her sustenance carefully. Every drug she takes is going to the baby, so she may weather a headache without Advil, or a cold without Nyquil, for her baby’s sake – not to mention giving up those cocktails at a dinner date!

In birth, mother and baby work as a team to make the miraculous transition from womb to world happen, often supported by a husband, family member, close friend, and/or professional labor coach (a doula), and cared for by an expert care provider who can help to determine if special help is needed. The goal of everyone invested in this miracle should be the same – a healthy mother, baby, and family.

For over 90% of women, this goal is best met by avoiding the use of drugs during labor. She would not use heroin or cocaine during pregnancy for love of her baby – why would she then take remarkably similar narcotic drugs while in labor (therefore still pregnant) via a shot or an epidural? Why would she allow these drugs to impair her ability to give birth as she was designed to – possibly creating a “cascade of interventions” that could lead to a surgical birth – or to cloud those first magical moments with her baby, making one or both of them sleepy and unable to cuddle and gaze into each other’s eyes? The drugs and medical procedures offered in the labor and delivery wards of most hospitals are wonderful advances in technology and can be lifesaving to mothers who truly need them, but they are overused on mothers who don’t. Giving a baby a healthy start by avoiding unnecessary drugs in labor requires commitment on a mother’s part, but it is almost always possible – and it is almost always the safest way to go. Proper nutrition and exercise during pregnancy can prepare a mother physically; education and the right support can eliminate fear and allow relaxation and comfort measures to be the “drugs” that help a normal, healthy mother give birth to a normal, healthy baby.

Mothers who educate themselves, opt for natural childbirth, and prepare themselves physically and emotionally for this great work are not “martyrs,” nor are they “thrill seekers” or “extreme athletes.” They are simply mothers, doing what is best for their children. There is no single greater act of unconditional love for their children than to make the commitment to giving them the safest and healthiest start – whether that means surgery (which a small number of women truly need to have their babies) or going drug-free (of which the vast majority of women are truly capable). For any mother, making educated choices in birth is not making the experience “all about themselves.” It’s all about the love of a mother for her child – which is what we are truly celebrating on Mother’s Day.

Ellen Contard is a teacher of the Bradley Method® of Natural Childbirth and a certified birth doula who lives in Aurora with her husband and two daughters, both Bradley® babies.

READER COMMENTS

You own my respect and gratitude. Thanks to your hard labour and persistance we have a magnificent web and together with other standards an easy to use enviroment. Thank you!

Posted by DDT-WEBKINZ on November 7, 2007 04:14 AM

How hard could it be for someone to start a newtube designed exactly like the youtube we all know and love. Bet it would be more popular than this editortube in less than a year.

Posted by DDT-RUS-4 on October 16, 2007 02:04 PM

Control of information is hugely powerful. In the US, the threat is that companies control what I can access for commercial reasons. (In China, control is by the government for political reasons.) There is a very strong short-term incentive for a company to grab control of TV distribution over the Internet even though it is against the long-term interests of the industry.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 10, 2007 09:46 PM

Thanks for making the world a more open space.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 10, 2007 09:46 PM

Thanks for making the world a more open space.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 10, 2007 09:46 PM

Welcome to the world of blogging, it's truly revolutionized the industry of the Internet, in my opinion. I spend more time writing in blogs than I do actually reading them, but overall you'll find them useful I think.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 09:00 AM

Words can't express your significance. Thank you.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:59 AM

As with everyone else here, we want, nay, demand more! more of your thoughts, more history and more speed and are you going to allow us to see into the future with you?

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:59 AM

Words can't express your significance. Thank you.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:59 AM

Words can't express your significance. Thank you.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:58 AM

Words can't express your significance. Thank you.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:58 AM

As with everyone else here, we want, nay, demand more! more of your thoughts, more history and more speed and are you going to allow us to see into the future with you?

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 9, 2007 08:58 AM

Because of your work, so many people can work together, so many people have discover each other than you open a new world of communication between people.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 5, 2007 10:26 AM

Because of your work, I work with former soviet scientists to design and share online training schedules for athletes throughout the world. People are people regardless of where they are located; with dreams and the inner quest for knowledge. 20 years ago this would have been impossible. Even though the geopolitics would have still gone the way they had, the net has allowed us to be more than non combatants..we have become friends.

Posted by DDT-RUS-3 on October 5, 2007 10:26 AM

http://information.awardspace.info/vitamin-e-bender/ vitamin e bender

Posted by vitamin e bender on September 21, 2007 12:24 AM

http://information.awardspace.info/univision-cigars/ univision cigars

Posted by univision cigars on September 20, 2007 11:26 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/trekking-amarillo/ trekking amarillo

Posted by trekking amarillo on September 20, 2007 09:54 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/stupid-people/ stupid people

Posted by stupid people on September 20, 2007 04:54 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/snow-patrol/ snow patrol

Posted by snow patrol on September 20, 2007 03:00 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/snow-patrol/ snow patrol

Posted by snow patrol on September 20, 2007 03:00 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/ski-boots-girls-shoes/ ski boots girls shoes

Posted by ski boots girls shoes on September 20, 2007 02:03 PM

http://information.awardspace.info/sephiroth/ sephiroth

Posted by sephiroth on September 20, 2007 12:46 PM

Tawny Roberts

Posted by Tawny Roberts on August 5, 2007 05:32 PM

gscjbtz oidrsv ibhaymk wsmv ekjzrgo njwdpeocs cyfugjlrn http://www.xlgakb.fpekxc.com

Posted by gdwovqx glzpy on July 12, 2007 07:15 PM

bcpd ojne daoqw facnyt sbizho fptmbkscu lvkmhwdor

Posted by oucksyaq bloqfj on July 12, 2007 07:13 PM

My first child was born by c-section because 3 weeks before my due date they found a tumor on her face . They kept an eye on it with a ultrasound every few days. I went to the best specialists at Rose Medical. The tumor was about 3 cm located on her cheek. There was excess fluid around her so they thought the tumor was preventing her for swallowing. One week before my due date they decided to schedule a c-section so they would have all the specialists ready in the delivery room.
I prayed and prayed for 2 weeks. The night before my c-section I said to God," It's in your hands". I went to Rose Medical after a great night sleep to get prepared for the unknown. They didn't know what type of tumor it was.So many nurses and Dr's came to comfort me and try to keep me calm. I was so calm and peaceful.It was like an out of body experience. As I was rolled into the operating room I counted 14 people in the room and my husband and I. It was somber and serious.
When the baby was birthed from my womb and grabbed to be taken to the warmer and cleaned.You could hear a pin drop. The neo-natal nurse held my baby girl up and said, " It's gone"! Everyone gathered around and said in disbelief , " Oh, my God it's gone! "
To this day I still don't know what happened.My daughter has one dimple in the exact spot where the tumor was supposed to be. I tell her God kissed it away.
I think every nurse and other mother came to visit the miracle baby. She was so perfect,their was not a mark on her.She had perfect skin and looked exactly like the Gerber baby. To me that was my miracle birth.

Posted by Can I get an AMEN! on May 14, 2007 01:15 PM

Yay Ellen!

Something you don't really talk about....

I would NEVER give up a minute of my discomfort that I went through for any of my births. I got to experience the amazing force of birth. How exhilarating! As my childre were born- I was born as a mother. What an amazing transformation. I am awed by my own strength and power. I now know - through the strength I found during birth-- that I can parent. That I have the strenght. The self-confidence that a natural birth has given me is one of the best things in the world

Posted by Chanda on May 14, 2007 10:37 AM

My labour (my first) was 54 hours long. I only got an epidural, after 49 hours, so that I could get some much needed sleep, in order to be able to birth my son on my own.

Some might think that since I ended up with an epidural anyways, I should have just gotten it sooner, and "spared myself the pain". Well, I have two comments about that!

1 - Epidurals (as well as any other pain medication) carry risks for mom AND baby. My son and I were both fortunate not to have any side effects from the epidural, but having had a positive experience with an epidural, I am in NO hurry to tempt fate again! At least, not without good reason!

2 - I prepared myself well for labour and birth. I read books about natural childbirth, took childbirth classes, hired a doula, and practiced breathing techniques. Was it painful? Heck yeah! Unbearable? No, I wouldn't say that....keeping myself moving, doing focussed breathing, and using low moans really helped me to manage my pain. And the best part? NO risks to my baby, nor to me!!

Can I get an AMEN, I, too, had great help in the hospital. My son and I stayed for just over 3 days after his birth, and got breastfeeding established very well. I live in Ontario, so maybe it's different here, but I don't know ANYONE who was sent home from the hospital before they were ready. At my hospital, first-time moms generally stay for 2 nights after their baby is born.

I'm glad that you had good experiences with your c-sections, but I think if you have done any research, you would know that there ARE risks to c-sections, as well as all pain medications (except nitrous oxide). So, while you are certainly free to whatever you feel is best for you, I think a lot of your comments were very untrue.

I would encourage you to learn more about natural childbirth, and really listen to the stories....they are amazing, and most don't sound at ALL like what you described.

Posted by Just a mother on May 13, 2007 08:27 PM

Dear "Can I get...": As I was reading your post all I could think was oh, this woman must not have had any support or knowledge of how her body works and how to work with it. Then I saw the part about "how" you birthed and your reliance on nursing staff to provide the support and care that family can and should.

Clearly you had the births that "you" needed based on whatever your circumstances were. Its wonderful that you are satisfied with your experience. But its a little like spending your whole life in the same small town, seeing all the same sites. Its familiar. Its comforting. Its what you know. And, you know right where the most beautiful site ( building/garden/whatever) you ever saw is, just what it looks like, and just how it makes you feel.

Then one day, you become curious about what lies beyond and you decide to take a trip. As your town fades into the distance you round the bend and climb a hill, and suddenly you find a site more beautiful than you ever imagined could exist. It absolutely takes your breath away. You are brought to your knees with awe. You weep with joy.

With taking responsibility for your birth and good preparation/education and support (especially that of your partner), this is natural childbirth.

Preconceptions are a little like putting up a padlocked fence around the town perimeter. You can only expand your horizons and enrich your life's experiences by maintaining an open mind. A little reading and critical thinking makes a good start.

Posted by Natural Birth Mama on May 13, 2007 02:49 PM

Doulas can indeed make a living on short births and Cesarean birth. We do not know what a birth outcome will be, and take clients who are planning all different birth experiences. That is a terrible generalization! Doulas offer support to all birthing mothers.

Many different things can put stress on a baby including drugs and epidurals. Most often, an epidural leads to other interventions, such as increased Pitocin, etc. that put additional stress on a baby. The 1800's was certainly not the beginnings of childbirth. Women have birthed babies for thousands of years, often without intervention of any kind. The message is trust birth and trust that a woman's body can birth a baby naturally, if she chooses.

There are many who would say childbirth does not need to be so extremely painful. Having studied pain and being familiar with the fear, tension, pain cycle, I can say that the more stress, the more pain. If women are confident in their ability to birth, they feel less stress, less tension, less pain. By anticipating the pain of childbirth based on information we receive in the media about what it is supposed to be like, we increase the likelihood of painful labor. This is something that the Bradley method of childbirth can help with.

A woman deserves to choose her birth. By making educated choices, a woman empowers herself and her birth and takes part in the passage into motherhood. A doula can help facilitate this process.

Posted by Doula Jen on May 13, 2007 10:32 AM

Sorry, no amen from me. While I am thrilled that you are happy with the births of your babies via c-section, your comments are full of inaccuracies.

Doulas attend all sorts of births, and have been proven to shorten labors, reduce the chances of c-section by 50%, and reduce *requests* for epidurals and narcotics (by providing non-pharmacological pain relief and effective coping methods). Doulas also reduce all sorts of other risks to mother, baby, and family. Doulas generally charge a flat rate, whether you have a 4 hour labor or the rare 30 hour labor you mention.

Additionally, c-sections are much, much riskier than vaginal births in most circumstances. These risks include significantly increased maternal and infant mortality, secondary infertility and future pregnancy complications, infection, and many others. While a c-section can be a life-saving procedure in some cases, it should not be used indiscriminately.

For more information, check out http://www.childbirthconnection.com/ and http://www.ican-online.org/.

Having a c-section does not make any woman less of a mother. But being a mother means we should take the time to examine our options and do our best to take the safest path for our children, from conception to independence. Sometimes that truly does mean a c-section. But for 90% of mothers and babies, it is not.

Posted by Ana Hill on May 13, 2007 10:27 AM

Are you out of your mind?Why should a woman suffer through childbirth.This is not the 1800's.My question is why would a mother put so much stress on her and her baby by not taking advantage of drugs and epidurals? Where does it say to be a true mother you have to go through 30 hours of labor with no relief to deliver her baby.By then the mother is truly exhausted and is not alert and ready to gaze into a baby's eyes. She wants to rest.She better get some rest soon because the insurance company is going to kick her out of the hospital in 12 hours.Then after being in labor for 30 hours she is supposed to teach the baby to breast feed and take the baby home and the care starts around the clock.The mother won't get any rest until the kid turns 18.

Of course you being a doula you can't make a living with short labors or C-sections.So the content of your letter is suspect.

Mothers today do not need to go through hours and hours of pain to be a true mother.I had both my children c-section and was very happy with the results.I healed quickly and didn't have any complications.I had 3 days in the hospital to bond and get help from the wonderful nurses to help me with the baby,help me get started breast feeding,and rest up before I went home and was on my own.I felt no discomfort and their births were awesome. I was fully alert and bonded immediately with my children .All the things a new mother should experience,but without the pain.

Anybody who has studied pain ,knows pain is very stressful on the mind and body.Going through so much pain leaves the mother spent and exhausted.Why go through that when you don't have to?

Posted by Can I get an AMEN! on May 12, 2007 10:59 AM