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This Speakout has not been edited

By Micaiah Evinger-Gould, Sterling

If I don’t stand up for my children, who will?

I am a frustrated parent. I am looking for answers and support. I have a sophomore in the Sterling High School, and 2 children in Caliche Elementary. I have expressed my concerns with the Superintendent. It has been a week and there are no answers or resolutions. My son has been attending the High School for almost 2 years. We are not new to the community. I am a graduate of a Re 1 valley school and long time resident of Logan county.

My Son , is not an honor roll student or a star athlete. He is just my Son. A pretty normal 16 year old. Not an angel by any means. He is a typical teenager that likes to test his parents and make immature decisions. My Son has had his share of teenage woes.

He has learned a great deal about life in the last year. He has learned it is hard to respect those that, show you no respect. He has learned about honesty and betrayal. He has learned intimidation, embarrassment and harassment. All at the hands of those who have already passed judgment.

He has been in trouble with the School on a couple of occasions. Which is very concerning. One of the occasions was lack of communication. The school speculated for several months he was getting himself into trouble. Not once did they contact us. We were never given an opportunity to try and rectify the situation. Only when he was caught with undeniable proof, I was notified. At which point it was no longer in my control.

That is a major concern to me. As a parent I try to teach my children respect and dignity. There are the times they listen and sometimes they don’t.

They have learned and try to put to use some of lives valuable tools. It is very hard to instill these values when people have forgotten them.

Some of our schools have staff that play favorites, for many reasons. Then there are those kids that are singled out because they are different. Then you have students that rub the staff the wrong way. It feels as if some of the staff has already given up on the ones that challenge them.

My Son has been singled out and discriminated against. He always tells me how he was treated a certain way, at school. I tell him that it is impossible! “They do not discriminate in schools especially here!” But on the day he had broke the dress code, I saw it first hand. I had watched more than a handful of girls wearing skirts and shorts that did not pass the dress code. All passing members of staff.

No action was taken. I picked him from school that day and watched them come out wearing the same things from the morning.

My son did question the staff member he told my son, he does not have time to stop everyone who violates the dress code. Some might say that short skirts and shorts are easy on the eye to some people. As a parent I find it appalling and offensive. Why is it the staff can pick and choose who follows the rules. If the rules apply to one they should apply to all.

I hope that this opens the eyes of those who have done wrong. I hope they see that education and educators should be fair and just to all. Rather than ignore a situation, try to resolve it. Don’t show favoritism.

One of the founding principals of education is the golden rule. Interpreting the golden rule: Treat others only in ways you are willing to be treated in the exact same situation. Now it is time to stand up for my children, because if I don’t who will?

READER COMMENTS

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I can't comment on your son's predicament because I haven't had a chance to learn what my opinion should be from talk radio. I'll share my thoughts on Monday afternoon.

Right on, Mr. Gould! If your Son wasn't wearing a skirt any shorter than those other girls were, he certainly was singled out unfairly.

Mr.Gould,I have 2 girls in elementary school. Yes the teachers and staff play favorites and yes they enforce rules on some but not others.
I will stand up for my children if they are right.I will not stand up for them if they broke the rules even if the whole school broke the same rule and didn't get in trouble.
It's called personal responsibility.It has to be taught everyday and reinforced on a daily basis.
I don't care what the other students are getting away with. If my daughters break the rules they have to take responsibilty for their actions not get a pass because someone else is doing it.
Personal responsibility is what is not being taught to our children today.We seem to have given up being parents and just want to be our children's friends.Well our children have friends ,they need a parent.Parents have to set rules,bounderies and consequences at a early age.If these are not taught early you will have a child that grows up doing what others are doing because they are doing it even if it's wrong.

Teaching your child that it is okay to break the rules because others are doing it is wrong. Each child needs to have a moral compass so they can learn and decide what is right and wrong,no matter what other people are doing.

Pointing out that other people were breaking the dress code so it was okay for your kid to do it is like teaching your child what The Boulder High School panel of idiots were teaching.Have unprotected sex,because it feels better without a condom,do drugs because your going to do them anyway,have same sex relationships because it good to experiment and drink alcohol and do drugs responsibly.

Stop worrying what other people are getting away with and start teaching you son personal responsibility.It will prepare him for real life.

I taught my kids that there are 3 kinds of rules in the US.

1. Rules that we always mean, like: "Don't throw paint on the principal at a school assembly." You will always get in trouble for that.

2. Rules that we never mean, like "Don't run while crossing the street in a quiet residential area." Yes it is typically not good to run while crossing the street, but kids quickly learn that no one will punish them for this kind of infraction. Another rule that we don't mean is that graphic violence and sex is bad for people to watch on TV.

3. Rules that we sometimes mean, like the dress code, driving 15 miles an hour over the speed limit, that people in authority should act consistently, and the rule that the rules should make sense.

"The school speculated for several months he was getting himself into trouble. Not once did they contact us. We were never given an opportunity to try and rectify the situation. Only when he was caught with undeniable proof, I was notified. At which point it was no longer in my control."

Schools, especially highschools, seem to think they know better than the parents how to take care of any situation. I have felt almost shut out at my daughters, told when I could or could not take her for appointments, I have been questioned when excusing tardies, etc..
All through her education I was told that parental support is important. Apparently that's only until highschool.
Oh but I can join the PTA.

Once again, your tax dollars hard at work. Schools need major reform and this is just another example.

As a parent of teenagers, I share your pain. However, your attitude is not improving the situation! One of the hardest things for a child to learn (and one of the hardest things for a parent to teach) is that life is not fair and a person who wants respect does the right thing no matter what and when he makes mistakes, he takes responsibility no matter what anyone else does.

Your child got in trouble for violating the dress code. Did he violate it? If he did, he deserved to be punished for it. Even if others violated the dress code and were not punished for it, does that change the fact that your son broke the rules?

Are you as a parent more concerned about your son's character or about the educators character? Sure the educators should be consistent in their application of the rules and consequences. But at the end of the day, who is more important to you?

Teach your son to do the right thing and to be prepared to accept the consequences for his choices. Then you will truly have raised a person who deserves respect.

Good luck to you and your son!

Get a lawyer and sue for discrimination. Take a camera to school and take pictures of the folks who can violate code and get by with it. Stir it up and get some attention. And make sure your child knows and follows the rules.

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