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This Speakout has not been edited

By Don Severe, Green Valley, Ariz.

In consideration of the potential for “global warming” and the remedies, ala Al Gore, John Edwards and others, we have developed the Carbon Relief Aid Policy (CRAP) foundation.

The purpose of CRAP is to provide a tax free foundation through which people around the world can purchase “Carbon Offset Credits” which allows them to disregard the need for respecting the causes of global warming as outlined in Mr. Gore’s book and movie entitled an “Inconvenient Truth”.

The Mission Statement of CRAP is: the Carbon Relief Aid Policy foundation purpose is to provide an organized system whereby people of all nations, races, religions, genders, sexual preferences and, whatever, can disregard their fellow man through the purchase of Carbon Offset Credits. Our “Motto” is hypocrisy at all costs.

Those that become donors to and, effectively, members of the foundation are required to take a pledge of “Elitism”, whereby they affirm that they don’t give a “CRAP” about people that do not have the wherewithal to become members of CRAP.

In a practical sense, CRAP members are allowed to use excessive amounts of energy, in all forms, and pollute the environment to whatever extent they wish and can afford.

For example, credits will be purchased at the rate of one dollar per kilowatt of electricity use exceeding the national average and one dollar per pound of excess pollutants “spewed” into the environment.

For example, Al Gore (the inventor of the internet, etc.), well known environmental scientist, would pay approximately ten thousand dollars a month to the foundation to purchase Carbon Offset credits in exchange for the use of excessive amounts of electrical and natural gas energy to maintain his three homes and petroleum products to run gas guzzler limos as well as his private jets. We call this the Big Shot (BS).

Ironically, Mr. Gore has not yet taken any steps to reduce the use of energy in his 10,000 sq. ft. Tennessee home, or his 4,000 sq. ft. home in Washington D. C. The other Tennessee property has not been considered as well. Possibly, his time is taken overseeing his Occidental Petroleum Stocks and his Zinc Mine that pays him $20,000 per year. Of course, telling an inconvenient truth takes ones time as well.

Many so-called celebrities and luminaries will benefit immensely. For example, when John Travolta flies his 727 jet, one of the highest polluting and fuel inefficient airplanes put into service, he will be able to purchase Carbon Offset Credits in exchange for this largesse. Of course, the same will be true for other airplanes in his fleet. After all, what’s a family without a 727 to get the kiddies to the Riviera for beach time?

There is the “Do as I say, not as I do policy” referred to as “DUPE”. This policy is directed to 200 millions plus of “commoners” in the U.S. It is similar to the policies of Congress whereby decisions are made to direct U.S. citizens as to various rights, actions and benefits such as Social Security, pensions, etc. for them, but not abide by such benefits themselves. Thereby, they have “duped” the general public as to their membership in CRAP. Members, laughingly, like to think that they CRAP on the majority of Americans.

It is the feeling of the executives of CRAP that all members should take the “Hypocrite Oath”, much the same as medical doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. In the view of CRAP members, both groups are helping mankind, just in different ways.

It is anticipated that the initial membership will be in the thousands. However, the organization is hopeful millions will dedicate themselves to CRAP. In that way all CRAP members can “buy” there way out of personal responsibility to their fellow man and conduct their lives in the true sense of Hypocrites, living up to their oath.

It is expected that Charter Members will include Al Gore (if he has time), John Edwards, Sean Penn, Barbra Streisand, Leonardo DeCapria, Nancy Pelosi, just mention a few “rock solid” hypocrites.

Twenty-five percent of each dollar donated to the CRAP foundation will be used to plant trees and increase the “wind” in Tennessee, Beverly Hills, Malibu and San Francisco, thus preventing global warming in those places. They will get their electrical energy from “wind” which is a by product of CRAP.

As we all know, trees will save the planet and wind is a natural phenomenon. Or, at least Al Gore, John Edwards and others that have encouraged the use of Carbon Credits to excuse their (inexcusable) actions believe that this is the way to prevent global warming. It’s in the book (and the movie)!

It must be true! Ex-Vice President, Al Gore has so stated verbally and in text.

The other seventy-five percent will be used for “administrative expenses” (wink, wink).

There is a concern by CRAP organizers that a rebellious group is being formed.

It is the National Opposition to Carbon Relief Offset Credits known as “NOCRAP”.

Given this latest development, it will be necessary for U.S. citizens and others around the world to decide, “Do they want CRAP or NO CRAP”?

There is a pile of data to support both positions!

Don Severe is a past resident of Denver and Highlands Ranch, now residing in Green Valley, AZ. He is a retired Pres/CEO of an insurance marketing firm and past USAF pilot. Don is an amateur historian, archaeologist and free lance writer.

READER COMMENTS

Liked your article. Go to the opinion forum and see my CRAP opinion.

...great I loved it.

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