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This Speakout has not been edited

By Heather Bennett, Aurora

My parents, Larry and Donna Smith, are featured in the Michael Moore film, SiCKO. I am one of their six children and I am the daughter who volunteered her home when they had no place to go. I offered my home out of love and an understanding that this is what I could do for them at the time. I could not erase the years of financial burden placed on them by their health care woes, but I could offer a soft place to land. For them, the opportunity to tell their story in this movie has been uplifting, dignifying and — and admittedly difficult at times. What people do not know — what people cannot see — is the private struggle behind the scenes for them and for their adult children.

What is so bothersome to me is that our family did not feel comfortable sitting down and having this conversation together. Perhaps it is too idealistic to think that families do that today. Do adult children know how their parents have planned for the future? Do parents talk about health care concerns and needs? Or are we so caught up in the “me” and in keeping everything private that we don’t stop to talk about it? What is the emotion behind this? Is it fear, embarrassment or shame?

When people ask me why my parents are in the film and why I think this is so important, I have answered that my parents are an example of what a couple might have to go through even though they are both working and are fully covered under multiple insurance plans.

What I have come to understand over the past few weeks is that the importance of this movie is much more simple than that. It is about having the conversation and then doing something about it.

Inability to have conversations is a big part of the problem in America today. We are so careful about what we say, how we say it, when we say it and to whom we say it that often we decide it is easier not to have the conversation at all. As Michael Moore asks in this film — “Who are we?”. My answer is that we are lots of individuals or small family units that are pretty uncaring and unconcerned for those around us. I would argue that Moore’s statement about the “me not we” ideology has bled past our every day dealings with the outside world, straight into our family lives. I know that I myself have learned things about the struggles they have faced by watching them give interviews or reading my mom’s eloquent words posted on a blog or a newspaper article. I also know that I feel utterly unprepared to assist as my parents age.

We live in a different time. Gone are the days that families stayed close together, generation upon generation living in the same community — taking care of each other. In our family, discussions on health care issues, financial issues and independent living issues rarely take place. What is the source of the stubbornness that stops these conversations from happening? How can we regain that connectedness?

If you are the child of an aging parent, I urge you to sit down with your parent(s) and have this discussion. Talk to them about their health. Talk to them about their healthcare. Ask the tough questions.

What will happen if there is a major illness? What will happen if that illness is so debilitating that assisted living is required? Would your parent be able to survive the financial drain that a health issue can cause?

Not only do these conversations need to happen within families, but we need to take those discussions and turn them into action. Start with your State Representative, your Congressional Representative and your Senator. Where do they stand on universal health care or a single-payer plan. Have they taken money from the health care lobby? If so, why? Pledge your support for a bill in Congress — HR 676. Challenge each of the Presidential Candidates for 2008 to really explain their health care plan. The voices that rise up from our families, to each state House to the halls of Washington should be filled with anger and outrage at a system that is failing so many. For every day that we do not take action, 50 more people will die.

I wish that I had asked these questions earlier. I wish that I had been engaged in discussions with my parents on an entirely different level.

In America, we must get back to a focus on “we”. It starts with asking the questions and planning for the future. Parents must feel no shame or loss of dignity in telling their children what they might need to survive a major illness. Children need to be prepared before something happens.

I urge you to see this movie — parents and children together. Start the conversation and then take action. When you start the conversation, you may be surprised at what you learn. I know I have been.

READER COMMENTS

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awww yes, another "Stream of unconsciousness" from 40 acres, where everything is a slam on black vets.

But anyway, on to Micheal Moore. His latest propaganda film is so full of outright liies and half truths that even CNN had to admit that it was total BS. and the funniest part is where Moore actually whined about his treatment. I loved that. The one guy who distorts facts so bad that their own granny could not tell what they are complaining that CNN was "distorting" his movie ROFL.

But, what do we expect from the "Socialist Goebbels".

Yes, Michael Moore certainly was not a positive contribution. I am in a situation where my mother now lives with me -and I would much rather have that then have government raise my taxes even further to "help" me. My communication with my parents has not been a problem over the years, we work together as a family. My parents raised four children, but have only one grandchild (my brother's son) and understand why they don't have more grandchildren having watched divorce actions involving their children and the legal issues involving the sole grandchild and the "move away" Mom. My parents celebrated 50 years together prior to my father's death. Such values no longer seem to exist in society and the "justice" system actively encourages family dissolution. Does the system need fixing? Absolutetly! Can the same institution who cannot issue a driver's license efficiently nor secure a simple system such as Social Security have any hope of fixing it? Not a chance! The government "solution" is literally betting your life on a demonstrably failed approach!

The most important part of Ms. Bennett's letter is the urgent plea to others to re-establish communication, especially with family, in our modern hi-tech individualistic life style. I commend her for her actions with her own parents, and for the message she's spreading about maintaining family ties.

Michael Moore has seriously damaged his credibility as an objective journalist through repetitive distortions of various truths in order to "prove" his predetermined truths in his other book and film projects.

It's almost sad that he has brought his tarnished reputation to such an important subject as health care. Even if he was trying to be totally objective and honest in this project there will be a prevailing skepticism of its message.

You lost me in the first sentence. Michael Moore is a self-important, hypocritical jerk and he deserves to be ignored as do those who associate with him. What he did to Charleton Heston was unforgivable. Hopefully, Moore will continue to damage the causes he champions so working Americans can keep at least a little of their income!

I am amazed at the way media has busted the chops of Mike "no-bodybags' Moore and hus "SCKO" movie. These hacks didn't investigate Bush and Alito in this manner, and if they did, a lot less Americans would be dead today. Do some real GOP (bodybags'R'US) investigations like:

a) Bush is a UCMJ-felon (illegal separation and discharge) and AWOLee/deserter. He and Cong. Bush, violated Preisdent Truman's executive order, which "desegregated" all of our armed forces. Civil Rights Act of 1964 too. The Bush-Klan "resegregated" all of our armed forces, whey they carved out a NAM sanctuary slot for "W" and his other rich white homeboys, in the racially segregated Texas Air National Guard. Every white "male" that served in this unit should be investigated, "dead or alive". THESE ARE HIGH CRIMES AND MISDEAMEANORS!!!

b) US Supreme Court Judge Alito is also a UCMJ-felon (illegal separeation and discharge) and AWOLee/deserter. Alito joined the US Army's ROTC program and got "7" years of college education (JD and undergrad degrees) funded by taxpayers. He incurred "11" years of active duty as a result of these "gifts". Felon appoints fellow felon. Like "W", Alito blew off his obligated military service too. Alito used the guise of him being a federal law clerk to pull off this criminal stunt. Federal law clerjk isn't mentioned in the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), therefore, Affirmative Action Alito should be sentenced to 3 years in federal prison, so he can get some of what he has given to black folks.

This conversation will probably never happen, because of the messenger. Michael Moore has demonstrated a willingness to pervert the message to ensure he makes his point.
I like many American's do not trust him to give me the whole truth......too bad.....he might have a valid point, but I won't watch his films until he can demonstrate complete honesty.

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