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By Rich Batten

Rocky Mountain News columnist Tina Griego concludes her Aug. 30 effort on the irresponsibilities of Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry and the stellar determination of Oshanette Neal — single mother of six — with a quote from Sidney Poitier’s book, The Measure of a Man.

Poitier writes, “The measure of a man is how well he takes care of his children.” Neal wants all her sons, and I presume daughters, to know and believe that no matter who you are, male or female, single or married, dead beat or dead broke, that “when you have children, life is not about you anymore. It’s about them.”

Neal is not alone in this belief. There are moms and dads across Colorado who are doing everything they can to be there for their children. There are also men and women who either through their own irresponsibility or outside barriers are falling far short of what their children need and desire.

As a fatherhood and family specialist with the Colorado Department of Human Services, I have the privilege of administering a five-year federal grant designed to promote responsible fatherhood across the state.

More than half of the funds are going to community and faith-based organizations that are focusing on improving the well-being of children of at-risk families by helping dads develop a lasting, positive and nurturing connection with their kids.

Here are just a few examples of what is going on across the state: In Salida, dads are learning what it means to be a nurturing father. Teen dads in detention centers across the state are learning what it means to be a responsible father. Child-support enforcement agencies in Larimer and Jefferson counties are trying to transform the image of their agencies by helping dads develop parenting and employment skills as well addressing other needs. Latino dads in Adams, Boulder and Weld counties are learning how to be their child’s and family’s best advocate through a program called Los Padres. I could go on and on with stories from agencies currently helping dads measure up.

It is not happening overnight and, as Neal’s story demonstrates, it takes hard work, sacrifice and commitment, but she is not alone in her efforts. There is a great deal of work being done across the state to help dads be there for their kids.

Rich Batten is a fatherhood and family specialist with the Colorado Department of Human Services.

READER COMMENTS

Mary Winkler sure taught her husband how to be a good daddy!

What about the flawed mothers?What if the poor kid has 2 flawed parents?

Insinuating that it's the fathers' that are flawed is wrong.
There are plenty of flawed mothers out there.

The mother's hold all the cards when in comes to giving birth or getting pregnant.
I do think the men should start protecting themselves more and demand paternity tests.

Hmmm, always the mans fault? How about teaching the young ladies to keep thier legs crossed as well. Remember it takes two to produce a child.

Why is a SINGLE mother of SIX held up as an example of a "stellar" parent? If she were really stellar, she would not have children she cannot afford and she especially would have used better judgement before having children with a bunch of deadbeat men.

I hope her tubes are tied.

The best way to create responsible fathers is to create a moral obligation for the man to be a father! This means, 40 years after recognizing the right for potential mothers, we extend the opportunity to make the responsible choice of CHOOSING parenthood to men as well as women. Women have multiple legal options upon learning of an unintended pregnancy - and NO ONE should force them to become a parent against their will - now we must recognize this identical right for men. A child wanted by two parents has a much better life prospect than a child wanted by only one parent - especially if the child is the result of a financial incentive. This recognition of reproductive rights would go a long way to resolving this issue.

Rich:
Neal is NOT a father, she is as most people who end up with the children when the male leaves the mother. Maybe you should gear your teaching to boys who are not yet fathers and tell them that there are three responsible things they can do if fatherhood is too daunting a proposition. One; don't have sex, unless your readyto take on the task of parenthood. Two; if you simply must have sex to prove your manhood, wear a condom. And finally, if you never want the responsibility of raising a child to be a responsible adult, get a vasectomy and save society the trouble of raising the children you have created through your irresponsibility. We place so much guilt on people if they decide not to have children. There is no shame in not having children.
I do hope you are succesful with your project.

Thank you for this news Rich. It's good to know there's some work taking place in this critical area of need.

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